import

I've been home for the last couple days due to illness. I don't regret missing any of it as I have the notes and handouts that I need and there weren't any tests. The family just got a new printer which does anything you could possibly want a printer to do, so, despite having to run around getting it working on our USB 1.0 set-up, it's good. I'll be working with babies in the morning tomorrow, which pretty much dictates my energy level for the day: low. I've got my English essay, due tomorrow, printed and nearly flawless. I also have a Creative Expressions test tomorrow which likely isn't going to be much fun, though it will likely be a short class. And then on Saturday I get to go do my First Aid/CPR training. T_T I am pressing to get the Anime Night disk done before I go to bed, which should be doable, but I really have do download more AMVs for next week. The ones I have are getting old. A raised can of root beer to productivity!

I've had a busy day. 

First thing this morning I showed up at the baby room for some time with the kids, there was general cuteness and a fire drill during which we all shivered and jumped up and down to fend off the cold. The Chef, Alex, was sick with allergies. 

Next came the ever happy six hour period of classes. I got stuck at the very back of the class, that's what I get for being almost late. I got to show off my new laptop to a couple friends as well as one of my favourite games, Imperishable Night. Got some learnin' done, too.

Then came the dreaded buying-a-packload-of-books-and-lugging-them-all-home excursion, it went well and I ran into my creative expressions teacher, who is taking a class at the campus the bookstore is at. Then I lugged them home on an over-crowded street car. o_o'

Tonight I plan to do some chores and read the first two modules in the on-line textbook for my Child Development class tomorrow.

My laptop is sexy.

I met a kid with diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome yesterday. He was maybe six or seven years old and visiting with his mother and his younger, toddler, brother. I met them at daycare so they might have been there applying, touring or generally visiting (the kid used to attend that daycare and visitations from old students is relatively common) the senior preschool (read: kindergarten) room in which i was working. My first contact with Li, (another Li, not the one a staff member recently gave birth to, obviously) was positive, he was playing with some manipulatives and building a rather complex and clean-looking little structure when I called out tidy-up time just before our morning circle. His response: "I don't have to because I'm just visiting, I'm not part of that group." There were obvious problems with his view, as in it's not exactly fair to the other's if he is visiting yet not participating in the programme, even enough to clean up his toys. There was a lot of deliberation, during which I concluded that I really, really liked him and that he was also not like most of the other kids I've met, after which he decided he wanted to go see his mother who was visiting in the junior preschool room, (read: preschool proper,) which was fine for everyone. 

We go outside after circle. Li and his younger brother (I never caught his name) were outside with the juniors, who had gone out before us, and having a good time playing and arguing. Vivi, (the other staff in the seniors,) was fussing over Li's little brother as he sat oin top of the slide for some reason, I go and see what's going on:

Vivi: "He's showing me his nail polish."
Kraai: "Oh! Your toes are beautiful."
Kid: *brandishing toes at us*
Vivi: *acting strangely and walking away*

Let it be said that I dislike and disapprove of most vain accoutrements, including nail polish, make-up, plastic surgery and skimpy clothing, even in adults, though I always try to encourage the kids in their ventures. 


That said, I also agree with the liberalist view of sexuality and especially children's sexuality in which children can wear what they like despite social taboos (which I also think are unfounded, arbitrary rules.)

After Li and his family had gone, Vivi was telling me about Li and his behavior, which was abnormally violent, when she began to mention his mother's attitude toward her son's sexuality and the freedom he is allowed. I use the term sexuality as an adult would apply the term, not as a kid would. Kids dress up for fun, not for individualistic, sexual social commentary. Apparently he wore make-up, nail polish and even came to class in a dress once. Vivi was obviously disturbed by this attitude and I wanted to see his mother again and tell her how I agreed with her in principle, after learning about her views and the opposition to it in the very classroom in which I was working.

I didn't say anything much to indicate my views towards Vivi, who is a rational and objective person, a lot of the time, I think she would have heard me and dismissed me in the same moment. It's a contrary thing to say, I know, but that's how it is. I keep my views mostly to myself since they are almost always in contradiction with the ideas held as truisms in the people I surround myself with, professionally. 

Over rice, tea, and stale pizza I wonder about my future. I fall in love almost every single day at my job. The kids make me think there are gods, like there is some divine purpose that might link me to the rest of this god-awful place. I find myself thinking these things and wonder if I haven't fallen into an emotional pit from which there isn't an escape or if there is some truth to this chemical response. Someone I fell in love with today threw up on me, I didn't mind. That's love, right? Another person I had fallen for what seems like ages ago fell asleep in my arms and felt safe there. That's also love, right? Maybe I am reading far too much into comfort and care. But maybe it really is something that can be felt, touched and possibly even moulded. Moulding emotion for a purpose sounds somehow mystical or religious. I have reservations about things I can't see, feel or that sound impossible. Maybe I've been wrong. Maybe..

You don't get into university with no money, no future, and no past.

I have been dead tired recently. This is why my posting has been slow.

So, I am torn between doing ECE and doing an English major w/ Japanese minor. I have been toying with the idea of doing ECE and then doing my English major, instead of doing a year of college prep first. 

But it would cost more. About $2000 more. 

The thing is, I don't think Fleming College offers ECE. Fleming College is in Peterborough, the city my wife and I are likely moving to. This presents a problem with that plan that will need serious workarounds. One of them being drop this crazy ECE scheme and just do the one year University Prep course they offer specifically for would-be applicants of Trent U. 

On a side note, I have been thinking about dropping the Ontario Early Years places from my weekly work schedule as I have been dreading attending the main site (I work at two sites, one of them being the main site) since I started working there. These past few days have given me hope though. I seem to be more equipped to handle the dynamic environment the longer I work there, though I still can't remember any of the parents', or even the childrens', names. I have had good conversations about varied subjects with some of the parents there and realize I may be the only adult these people will get to speak to on any given day. This makes me feel better about the hardness of the job and, in fact, makes me want to attend my scheduled shifts with something like optimism in my pocket. Besides, the mothers who attend are mostly very, very nice people who have so much to say and have done so much. It breaks my heart to separate myself from that kind of person willingly.

It's strange to say that, since it's in a rich neighborhood. I always equate rich places with assholes.

I had a pretty good day today. The toddlers I was working with were enjoyable and not terribly behaved, I got giant toddler hugs from two of them actually. One of the Teachers I was working with was pregnant. I have only one episode of Haruhi to watch before I'm caught up and can join a Haruhi fangroup. I also got two Sakuya from friends of mine to add to my collection of virtual dolls, I now have 8/100. The wife made an awesome open faced turkey sandwich dinner, too.

Life seems so good sometimes.

I worked the Eaton Center site in the kindergarten for the first time today. They serve their kids snack and lunch there as opposed to having the children serve themselves and I had forgotten to ask why. Having the children (especially kindergartners) serve themselves at food times is empowering and teaches about the correlation between the gluttony/restraint dynamic and the waste produced at the end of the meal (the kids can scrape their own plates into a communal organics bucket to emphasize this) and I don't understand why someone would knowingly take that away from the children other than, "oh, it's easier." Sigh. One of the teachers there actually taught one of my classes at Mothercraft. I also worked an afternoon shift at Hester How. One girl was playing in the reading section (doing what, I don't know; happily or not, i don't know) when her grandma showed up to take her "for a little while." I was incredulous and was vindicated when Dawn began crying hysterically about losing "her spot" (all areas are limited in number of children who are allowed to play in them.) It seems to me that if someone is picking up a child from daycare, the idea that they might come back is one that can create problems. "Spots" are viciously guarded things, mainly because they are lost so easily. The girl must have thought that, since even standing up can give an ambitious child the opportunity to slide in and claim it for their own, this temporary absence from the classroom would spell doom for her spot. I saw the most beautiful dolls today. Two Eurasian toddlers who were about twenty five years old and were made in Toronto. They had wonderful, black, curly human hair and well made traditional chinese dresses... And they were selling at $1250.00 each! I was telling the shop owner how nice his store was and especially those dolls when he asked me, "are you coming back for them?" I nearly laughed in his face. Me, with my torn shoes and uncut hair, "coming back" for twenty five hundred dollars worth of doll! I demurely declined.

esterday was the first time I felt completely comfortable in the infant room. It happened when I was reading the group a few stories towareds the end of the day. One of the stories was a book about how animals move their body parts and so the head touching, arms waving, hips wiggling game began. It occurred to me at that point that, while oral comminication is important for infants' speech development, they get so much more out of kinesthetic comminication. In other words, play is a better medium for speaking to infants than speech is! This is something I couldn't grasp in my kindergarten classes and frankly ignored in the toddler rooms I've been in. I can see now that this kind of play based communication can certainly be applied to anyone with less language skills or people who are less willing to use language.

Lunch shifts at the (three story) coop are crazy. I'm basically responsible for getting the food up to the classes (from the basement!) and spending some time in the "big kid's" room (kindergarten) serving and sitting with one of the groups. Then I have to clean up the trays and bowls and things, take it down to the chef and clean up the "mid kid's" room (which is always a disaster after lunch.) The shift is only an hour and a half long but is so busy that I usually do more on that shift than I do during the rest of my day.

I also have my interview with the man with autism today. His name is Matt and I know next to nothing about him or autism. Wish me luck!

I've given my valedictorian's speech. To my surprise it went over really well. People were interrupting me to clap and I had to yell over them what i was saying. I will link a video my wife made once I have it on my PC. Also here is a transcript of it.

I'm working now, doing supply for a few places, two of the unionized under CUPE (which has recently had a controversial backing out of an illegal strike over pension plans) and one of them under the Mothercraft umbrella, who I schooled with. I am working most of my shifts at a place called Hester How which is a workplace childcare center inside Toronto's New City Hall. I would certainly like to work there as full time staff as the people are great, the directors are slow-speaking and thoughtful (like me.. and unlike most childcare workers,) and the children are among the brightest and most interesting I have ever met. Oh, and there are no male full-timers on the payroll. The other CUPE site is simply called University of Toronto Campus Coop and is run by a woman who used to work at the Margaret Fletcher Childcare Center which was born of protesting the lack of childcare for women UofT workers. It also has about four other men working there which is almost unheard of. The other site, Robertson House, is a Mothercraft childcare center which means they adhere to the policies I was taught in school, which are actually pretty congruent with my own policies of childcare. The center itself, as the name implies, is a big house which was built from day one to be a childcare center and so has all of the appropriate accommodations and built in furniture associated with children and their specific needs. There is also an Ontario Early Years Center in the front half of the house which is basically a drop-in, meeting place and resource center for parents. I am interested in doing wome work with the OEYC program but as of now I haven't persued anything to that end.

I've been offered a job working with a 29 year old autistic man and I am going to call about that today. I met the contact, Linda, at an autism workshop I attended on Tuesday. She was sitting beside me and struck up a conversation, steeled by an earlier encounter when we were both asking the instructor questions about her lessons. We were talking about chelation, about the root of the word and how the medical chelation process takes place when she mentioned to me that she had performed a chelation process on a client of hers. I asked her what she did and she told me about her energy healing. I then told her about how I had some experience in energy manipulation in my past studies and experience. She told me she liked the term "energy manipulation" and then offered me a regular, part-time support work job which I said I would think about and get back to her.

I have begun guidance counseling as a client and have been sick for about three weeks. That reminds me, I still haven't done my Guidance homework yet.

"One day, some years ago, some friends said, 'Ever seen any silicate putty?' I said I had never even heard of it. They gave me a lump. I kneaded it, flattened it, stretched it into a long thin piece, tore it into smaller pieces. Then they said, 'Roll it into a ball and throw it on the floor.' I did so. My eye, and my brain, and my very bones knew what would happen-the putty would splat on the floor and stick. I threw it, and while my eye stayed stuck to the floor the putty bounced up as high as my head. For an awful split second, the universe rocked around me. I was on the brink of terror. Then, in the same instant, something wrenched in my mind, something said, 'Okay, so it bounces, very funny, what will they think of next?' and i was back in the world of order and reason."

John Holt
How Children Fail, 1958

That circle was terrible. I wasn't prepared.. was interrupted.. shared circle lead role with a regular teacher there.. and eventually lost control of the whole thing entirely.

Am I in the right field?

i do a children's story circle at a downtown daycare every thursday afternoon.

since it's been raining recently i decided to do it based on the weather and it's logical consequences. here was my lineup.

1. song: story bracket song to begin circle
2. song: it's raining, it's pouring in rounds
3. book: what does the rain play by nancy white carlstrom
4. song: rain, rain, go away
5. book: the tiny seed by eric carle
6. a fingerplay i made up about a seed growing into a flower, the flower dying and fertilizing an acorn which grows into a tree which falls and fertilizes a flower
7. song story bracket song to end circle

one of the children's grandmother's had recently died and so the fingerplay was especially relevant and not only to the weather. i'm glad i could tell her that story.