Thursday, August 10, 2006
Over rice, tea, and stale pizza I wonder about my future. I fall in love almost every single day at my job. The kids make me think there are gods, like there is some divine purpose that might link me to the rest of this god-awful place. I find myself thinking these things and wonder if I haven't fallen into an emotional pit from which there isn't an escape or if there is some truth to this chemical response. Someone I fell in love with today threw up on me, I didn't mind. That's love, right? Another person I had fallen for what seems like ages ago fell asleep in my arms and felt safe there. That's also love, right? Maybe I am reading far too much into comfort and care. But maybe it really is something that can be felt, touched and possibly even moulded. Moulding emotion for a purpose sounds somehow mystical or religious. I have reservations about things I can't see, feel or that sound impossible. Maybe I've been wrong. Maybe..